In the latest news from Washington, Paris, and in the Queen Mother’s secret bunker underneath Buckingham Palace the trillion dollar western intelligence agencies are nearly, almost, absolutely positive Iran attacked two oil tankers. Excuse me, but as horrible as World War III might be, thousands of dumbfounded CIA and MI6 spooks is an even more uncomfortable reality. What kind of numbskull protection are we paying for?
In the wake of two consecutive attacks on oil tankers traversing the Gulf of Oman, Saudi Arabia’s badass Prince Mohammed bin Salman has threatened to whip Iran back into the Stone Age and to beat any threateners up really badly. Though I guess he means the United States will whip-up on Tehran because Saudi Arabia couldn’t match up against Croatia in a fair fight. Meanwhile…
US secretary of state, Mike Pompeo has sworn on his Boy Scout’s honor that the Trump administration does not want war. He has, however, promise to share the intelligence that proves Iran is guilty. He was seen tweaking his badges for good deeds as he spoke to reporters interested in what might end up a Persian version of Vietnam.
Over in the UK, the BBC wasted no time in looping in criticism of Jeremy Corbyn for saying the whole affair is America’s fault. But no network I am aware of has mentioned a familiar pattern of sword rattling and accusation. BBC, the White House, Saudi princes, and crude oil prices soaring through the roof make me think about stock markets and insider trading, but that’s just me.
The infallible United States military provided what appeared to be really bad GoPro footage of some folks with turbans on their heads (sorry, I had to say it) were Iran’s Revolutionary Guards Corps (IRGC) trying to remove an unexploded mine from the Kokuka Courageous. Interestingly, the owner of the Kokuka Courageous cast doubt on the US narrative, saying the vessel’s crew saw a “flying object” before it was rocked by a second blast. Who knows, maybe an Israeli drone shot a missile at the ship to provoke the world?
Amid all the mumbo-jumbo, one has to wonder if President Trump thought starving Iran to death with crippling sanctions were going to have a positive outcome? Iran has been put in a “damned if they do or don’t” situation. If Tehran stands up to the west back-peddling on the nuclear deal – the western alliance will cripple the country with sanctions or all-out war. If Tehran knuckles under, the leadership loses face and the western alliance figures out another way to punish Iranians.
Of course, everyone in the world knows Iran’s government is hell-bent on cutting its own throat. And since the Iranians are still appealing to the remaining signatories to deliver on its promised economic benefits, it’s absolutely in Tehran’s best interests to disrupt trade in the Gulf and to start a war instead of waiting a few days! At least this is what my country’s true-blue spy agencies and the military industrial complex need us to believe.
Saudi Energy Minister Khalid al-Falih has joined his prince in rattling his country’s $350 billion dollars in American made modern scimitars saying, “There must be a rapid and decisive response to the threat.” All I can say is, Iran had better watch out because Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Raytheon, General Dynamics, Northrop Grumman, General Electric, and Halliburton can crank out more death-dealing products in short order.
And since Donald Trump promised to make America great again, the beefed-up economy from all-out war arms sales, along with the skyrocketing oil prices when Iran, the Saudis and the rest of the Middle East go up in flames will assuredly put a chicken in every pot in the United States. Why the Queen Mother may even make England great again if she can just get rid of that pesky Corbin fellow.
And there you have today’s real or alt truth, whichever way you choose to believe.
Phil Butler, is a policy investigator and analyst, a political scientist and expert on Eastern Europe, he’s an author of the recent bestseller “Putin’s Praetorians” and other books. He writes exclusively for the online magazine “New Eastern Outlook.”